#black women expat

[blackgirlslivingwell]

12 Travel Safety Tips for Women | Black Girls Living Well

Traveling can be an incredible experience for women, but it's important to prioritize safety while exploring new places. This video includes some travel safety tips for women. Full Video On YouTube

[musiqjukebox]

I’m Taking a Break from Life in the US...At Least for A Little While

The post I made about wanting to leave the US in 2020 gathered a lot of attention, so I want to give you all a life update in regards to that post. Right now, I’m choosing to take a break from life in the US, at least for a little while. Many people have asked me why, and instead of answering that question my response is simple: why not? The beginning of the end of my relationship with life in…

[armandsdivorcelawyer]

@yekkes

Oh my god so glad you asked!!! There are many different types of Expat in Korea:

FB Rant Woman is who I’d classify as “First Time Minority.” There are many of these. They’re white people that usually believe that they now understand systemic oppression because they’re now a minority group in Korea and xenophobia exists. Probably doesn’t believe that they have white privilege in Korea.

Will say anything seemingly negative that happens to them is racism. Korean person not interested in having a serious relationship with expats that will most likely leave the country in the next 1-2 years? Racism. Korean person doesn’t understand their accent when they speak Korean (their pronunciation sucks)? Racism. It’s all racism. They understand now. Don’t you see, American Person of Color? Here, we’re the same 🫶🏽

Other types of expats are:

The Koreaboo

They love KPop and K-dramas and moved to Korea to find their oppar. This expat either has a Korean boyfriend who is an ugly loser or is attractive and clearly not taking the relationship as seriously as she is, or a revolving cast of Korean boyfriends that changes so fast you never can actually learn their names. You would warn her that most men looking to date foreign women are only really looking for casual relationships, but she’s insufferable so you don’t bother.

If she sees you on the street when she’s with her boyfriend, she’s going to glare at you even though he looks like a foot and is chronically unemployed. In her mind, you want him. And that’s all that matters.

She’s an English teacher, but she really doesn’t care about her job. Has an annoying social media presence with titles like “My KOREAN BOYFRIEND tries NEW YORK PIZZA for the FIRST TIME!!”

She posts on the FB groups about how her boyfriend won’t introduce her to his family. People try to tell her that, culturally, people in Korea don’t introduce partners unless they’re engaged and about to get married. She doesn’t get it.

The Loser Back Home

This person is usually a white man who for some reason could not cash into his white male privilege in his country of origin, so he came to Korea expecting Korean women to throw coochie at him simply because he’s white. The LBH fetishizes Korean women, and loathes non-Korean woman. He’s also insufferable.

Also an English teacher, not good at his job. Has lived in Korea for 10+ years and speaks little to no Korean. Sometimes has a Korean wife that you pray divorces him eventually. He usually relies on her to do everything because he refuses to learn Korean.

The “Why are You Still Here?”

This person has also lived in Korea for 10+ years and they HATE the country. They don’t like the food, the people, their jobs, the culture, everything. Chronically miserable.

You ask them why they’re still here, and they never have a straight answer. It’s implicitly understood that they’ve been living in Korea for most of their adult life, and don’t know what they’d do if they left. If they do leave, they’re going to a nearby country (probably Japan or China) to start the process all over again.

The College Student

This person is studying abroad for a semester. Commonly seen in Hongdae clubs. They’re 19 and they can drink legally in Korea and it’s about to be everyone’s problem!

This group has overlap with the Koreaboo.

The Military Man

This person is a man in the US military. He’s either looking to get married to someone after knowing them for 5 business days, or is cheating on their wife with whom they share 3 children (with one on the way!) Swears he gets tested regularly, but will give you an STI. If he’s been in Korea for years, he probably ended up on The Black Book fb group to warn women to not interact with him. (TBB got shut down because other women started leaking the information to the men listed in it, and they threatened to sue the moderators. RIP TBB you saved many a life.)

This person is reviled by everyone in the country, expats included, because he is a menace. He and his friends terrorize the innocent citizens of whatever poor city their base is closest to. Avoid at all costs.

The Traveler

This person hasn’t lived in their country of origin for years, and has mostly been jumping from country to country for adventure! They live in Korea because 1. It’s a nice place to live., 2. Relatively low cost of living, and 3. Close to other countries. A holiday is coming up? They’re going to Thailand. They got vacation days? They’re spending it in Vietnam.

Either very chill and interesting, or insufferable.

And finally; The Running Away from Something. (That’s me!!)

This person is living in Korea because for some reason they do not want to be in their country of origin.

Shitty family? It’s hard to keep in contact with a 12 hour time difference. Don’t know what they’re gonna do with their life? English teaching in Korea is a good gap year job to let you save and figure your shit out. Mentally ill? Oh you stupid bitch. Go make that appointment at the Itaewon International Clinic. DO IT NOW.

Is either staying 1-2 years, or ends up living there forever. No in between.

[rappaccini]

semi-disorganized thoughts on the politics of gwen stacy, as they relate to race and privilege.

alright i've had this thing in the drafts for a minute, and i just want it Out There.

in general when it comes to the major female characters in peter's life, there's room to play around with their interpretations and race.

cindy moon has to be korean and glory grant has to be black because it's written into their characters

mj and betty can be anything, and have been racebent with great success.

felicia hardy can be a lot of things, but some should probably be avoided because if you write it wrong it could turn out offensive.

liz allan has been racebent... but she honestly works better as a white woman given how her character represents the waspy background peter initially wants to enter (mcu liz allan's a weird one, given the vulture twist. since homecoming borrows so much from miles, and tiana toomes was likely inspired by her, mcu liz reads like more of a first draft of tiana than a liz depiction).

gwen... hasn't really been racebent anywhere (unless you count gabi/gabriel o'hara and gayatri singh). and that follows, because she falls more in line with liz allan; this is a character whose whiteness-- or at least, her access to institutional privilege and status as part of that subset of women within society that are considered desirable, protectable and worthy of putting on a pedestal-- is very important.

this is too disorganized to write into like. a proper essay. so have some bulletpoints.

her background:

little is known about gwen-616's family background, apart from that she has relatives on her father's side who live in london (but it's not clear if they're literally british or they're just expats), and her mom's from a german background.

(spiderverse spider-gwen is specifically irish-american)

she had a christian, most likely catholic, background.

gwen-617's father was a cop who met her musician mother at a peace protest, and gwen-65's father is specifically a former street gang member who, like 617, met gwen's artistic mother during a conflict with the police. he helped her police captain father resolve the situation. soon after they became a couple, and he became a cop. so spider-gwen's dad is specifically part of that phenomenon of poor men becoming cops to raise their economic status, and gwen in general is usually the product of a family where law enforcement is considered a tradition (and so is marrying law enforcement; her mother and grandmother both did it).

she isn't generationally wealthy or new-rich. her family is comfortably middle- to upper-middle-class and achieved that status before gwen was born. she grew up without having to worry about money-- with the exception of tuition.

when gwen's mother dies (in 616 it's an unspecified illness; in 65, who knows), there's no mention of medical debt. so the family could afford it, or whatever helen had, they were lucky that it didn't wipe out the family finances.

gwen and her father live in a nice but not luxurious apartment. (and spider-gwen lives in a dated two-story house in peter's middle-class forest hills suburb)

gwen went to standard high, a prestigious prep school where she was classmates with the children of the city's best architects, physicians, business owners and billionaires. since her household's single-income (even before helen stacy died, she was a housewife), and they don't have any generational wealth, she would've had to have been on a scholarship to afford that tuition.

at that school, she's a popular honors student who wins class president, is best friends with the richest boy at school, dates the star quarterback, and laps up all the fancy college scholarships. and when she arrives at college, she leads a group of kids in freezing peter out like a high school mean girl, because he isn't giving her enough attention. so even though gwen wasn't rich, she was comfortably at the top of the high school hierarchy, and maybe even a bit of a bully. to say the quiet part out loud, if gwen had been a woc, everybody would've been giving her shit for needing a scholarship to afford to attend and she would never have gotten that level of acceptance.

she's a scholarship student (again!) at empire state university, where she's a top student in a stem major.

however-- that empire state scholarship isn't framed as a make-it-or-break-it achievement. when gwen's chasing it in high school, she doesn't say she can't enroll if she doesn't get it. so most likely, she could still afford college; she'd have just had a shitload of loans.

(gwen-65 goes to peter's public high school. she gets a scholarship to empire state too, but that's strictly a bullshit handwave of ~your superhero connection got you this made-up scholarship for interdimensional exchange students so you can go here~ that means nothing. for all intents and purposes she's a dropout.)

gwen stacy isn't a wasp, but she's white, anglo-saxon (or irish) and christian, so she's close enough to it to rub elbows with them. she isn't rich, but she knows how to fit in with rich people, and rich people let her get away with it. and she's one strategic marriage or career move away from getting into that social circle.

... her name literally means "white" in welsh.

her appearance:

the one trait that stays consistent throughout all her depictions, moreso than her personality or family background-- and the one trait a lot of men people bother to remember about her-- is that she's a blonde. and blondeness tends to be associated largely with whiteness.

gwen's largely regarded as the 'nice, tame good girl' ... even though in canon, she's a night owl who has a vicious temper, goes out partying often, juggles multiple suitors and is sexually forward. people keep fucking forgetting all that, because something about the way gwen looks makes people keep defaulting to 'innocent.' -- it's that she's a blonde (specifically, a blonde being juxtaposed with a fiery redhead), and people are applying stereotypes about blonde girls being uptight and delicate to gwen.

gwen's a beauty queen. what kind of physical attractiveness do beauty pageants tend to reward?

even the gwens who aren't beauty queens are still regarded as extremely attractive. including spider-gwen, who puts no effort into her appearance, keeps finding herself the target of romantic and sexual attention. this girl is consistently at the top of whatever her society's beauty standard hierarchy is. (and we know that standard more often than not tends to center whiteness.)

spider-gwen's costume? white.

her politics:

gwen's father is vaguely on the left (if he weren't, sam bullit gloating about how captain stacy's daughter endorsing him is an ultraown to the libs wouldn't make sense), but she's... not.

rich boys and men in uniform -- soldiers, cops, football players, (unknowingly, superheroes) -- are the type of guy she prefers to pursue romantically (... likely taking cues from her mother and grandmother, who both married cops). flash thompson goes to fucking vietnam and she thinks it's such a turn-on that she slips him some tongue at the airport right in front of her boyfriend.

she's annoyed and unsympathetic when vietnam war protesters disrupt her education. i don't know if gwen's just that serious about her education or if she genuinely thinks the war's okay, but it's not looking good!

she earnestly participates in her local elections-- and though she ultimately votes and campaigns for the progressive, she does seriously consider publicly endorsing the racist republican with fascist leanings.

she dislikes vigilantes and trusts the police.

she uses "my dad's a cop" as an excuse to get out of being punished and a threat to people she dislikes.

gwen's most prominent relationship was with peter, but she was going out with harry and flash casually at the same time and had dated plenty of guys in high school; she's by no means a blushing virgin who's loyal to Only One Man. gwen has options, and she pursues them.

she and peter had an implicitly sexual relationship, and she and darius leclerc were at least hitting second or third base, so gwen's cool with premarital sex. she consumes porn and even likes messing around in public (fooling around with darius at the public library; even asking peter if he wants to go to an adult theater to watch dirty movies).

gwen references betty friedan and the women's lib movement, and she's a female stem major in the 1960s, so she's a feminist and probably had no intentions of being a housewife... but her feminism starts and ends with herself.

even gwen-1610, the counterculture rocker chick who hates cops, jocks and bullies, and has casual sex, has this personality largely as a response towards her mother leaving her family. it's not that she's political or liberated, it's that she's raging against her parents and acting out to get a reaction. she hasn't applied her sense of disenfranchisement to anyone beyond herself. she's that kind of white punk.

the default gwen stacy is a white feminist who believes in and supports institutional power because she's always benefited from it, occasionally balks against it but only when it affects her, and she's naive at best and indifferent at worst to the ways it could hurt marginalized people -- specifically black people.

the elephant in the room

(... walk with me: given that the stacys get up close and personal with "spider-man" when hobie brown is wearing the costume to help peter throw off suspicion that it's him, and the textually racist sam bullit, a former cop, considers him public enemy #1 in the same issue where his blatantly racist policies are raised... there's a non-zero chance that the police-- including gwen's dad-- during the early 70s, think spider-man is a black guy and that assumption of his race is a contributing factor to their distrust of him. and gwen... agrees.)

look gwen-616 isn't beating the allegations. she was on the fence about voting for a racist cop, she backs the blue, she hates protests, she hates a vigilante that she has good reason to believe is a black guy. the way she's simply... never around randy robertson unless she's with peter, and surrounds herself with only white friends, is also telling too. it's all adding up to gwen being racist.

and the more that modern writers try to slap a band-aid over og gwen's issues with black people, the more visible they get.

gwen-616's relationship with her high school sweetheart darius and earth-8's alternate spider-gwen marrying a miles morales paint a very clear picture that gwen, in her default state, is the kind of white girl who would date or marry a black guy... but only the kind of black guy who's disconnected from his community and assimilating into greater white society to access wealth and power (miles-8, who mysteriously left his family, friends and world forever to live on a world where he's rich and famous), or who has already done this (darius, big man on campus at the rich kid school and son of multimillionaires), and she will make no effort to understand his perspective and stick up for him and his community.

in the case of darius, gwen-616's investigation into a crime lord gets darius's dad into a situation that gets him killed, apologizes for failing him... and proceeds to stan for a racist republican two years later. retconning a romance with darius into her story means gwen learned nothing from that experience and her apology wasn't sincere.

gwen-8 in particular is the kind of white woman who'd marry a black man and have children with him... and make no effort to make sure their biracial kids are connected to the black community they're a part of. (miles's people are nowhere to be found on earth-8-- no presence, no mention, no photos on the wall, nothing. but gwen's half-black kids have photos with their white cop grandpa. that says a lot. and the fact that miles-8 doesn't even seem connected to his community suggests that quality made him even more appealing to gwen-8.)

even spiderverse spider-gwen represents this to her miles, whose interest in her is directly tied to his desire to ditch his dimension for the spider-society, and to leave brooklyn for princeton; atsv miles wants to pull a miles-8.

-> she unintentionally leads him into a situation where he comes under attack for reasons that are racially-coded by her peer group and she doesn't stick up for him. yes, she realizes she made a mistake and resolves to make it up to him, acknowledges that miles's community is important to him, that she has no right to remove him from them, and vows to help him protect them (which is more than gwen-616 ever does for darius or gwen-8 does for her miles)... but he still sees her as that easy way up the social ladder.

-> and gwen returns the favor. she prefers a heteronormative romance with the middle-class straight boy with a nice family who's bound for an ivy league and a bright future, who she barely knows, over the poor queer homeless punk boy who she has a stronger connection with. assimilation into a society (not even hers; any will do) ultimately matters more to her than the actual depth of the relationship. rio and jeff were right to doubt gwen's intentions, because they weren't sincere; deep down, gwen isn't here for miles, she's here for the stable family, accepting community and bright future he has and she thinks if she's his girlfriend, she can obtain those things by association.

-> which, in context: spiderverse spider-gwen's spent six-ish months as a homeless queer runaway who thinks she'll die a violent death at a young age. it follows that she'd badly want a stable situation, and be willing to throw herself at a boy to get it. her motive isn't climbing the social ladder, it's avoiding being shaken off of it. like with comics-spider-gwen, when spiderverse gwen feels adrift and in need of belonging, she goes looking for a romantic relationship with a straight boy who's palatable to society as a survival strategy. she's not desperately in love, she's desperately comphetting.

-> the narrative framing that romance as "look at how different and brave and boundary-breaking we're being!" even though it's fundamentally not, as this is still ultimately the male lead getting a romance plot with the female character who was only placed in the movies to be his future girlfriend, (especially in comparison to what she could have with hobie) positions spiderverse-gwen as... the kind of white girl who rebels against her conservative parents and the status quo she hates by getting a black boyfriend instead of addressing the actual societal problems that are harming her.

especially when you consider miguel is symbolically her foster father (his design and george stacy's are very similar, he has a dead daughter whose name starts with a g, he intervenes in gwen and george's confrontation right as george makes a move to disown her, he's introduced alongside jess, who gwen asks to 'adopt her' and who serves as her mother figure). gwen bringing miles to the society reads like a white girl bringing her black boyfriend home to piss off her conservative dad. and gwen goes looking for miles to further rebel against him.

-> to be fair, gwen's willing to show up for her black boyfriend and his community, which is more than what most of those girls do. and atsv makes a point of showing that gwen seeks a mentor in jess drew and friends in hobie and pav-- they're establishing that gwen is simply the kind of white girl who's drawn to people of color, black people especially, even when romance isn't on the table.

-> but she's still ultimately using miles as a band-aid over insecurities he cannot help her with, she still aims to assimilate into the system instead of finding a way to escape it, and she still won't be an ally until she thinks she can get a boyfriend out of it.

(... can we please unpack how spiderverse gwen has been spending every day with jessica drew and especially spider-punk for months... and yet a couple hours with miles, and the idea that maybe she can date him if she shapes up a little, are what radicalize her in the end? okay babe. i see.)

which makes (comics-)gwen-65's subtextual interest in hobie brown and glory grant, who are queer black punks, all the more interesting; the gwen stacy who's a fully-actualized hero is drawn to people of color as well, and to queer black love interests who won't conform, and not-so-coincidentally learns all on her own to look out for their interests without any expectation of a romantic reward for doing so. her love interests don't lead her to activism, her activism leads her towards her love interests.

-> and as comics-spider-gwen starts to regress in her progress, her romantic interests have switched to harry-and-em jay, and then just em jay. (or that she's probably about to be paired up with miles, the guy who ends up with her supposedly-future-self, gwen-8, who takes far more after gwen-616 in her treatment of black characters. in other words, being with miles will make gwen regress into a much crappier person... because she's using him to get that same comphet security as spiderverse gwen.). not a coincidence.

her status in the narrative (to others)

gwen's role in peter's love interest hierarchy is similar to liz allan's: both are part of love triangles peter faces where he has to choose between an aspirational girlfriend who can give him what he wants materially but doesn't bring out the best in him (gwen and liz) and a girlfriend who cannot give him a gain in status but is in tune with his emotions (mj and betty).

-> in high school, peter (who's strapped for cash and starts his origin story as far more selfish, sexist and profit-driven) is drawn to liz's beauty and wealth, but ends up being pulled towards betty, who is working-class.

-> in college, peter is drawn to gwen's beauty, her stable future as a scientist, and a relationship with her means being accepted by her police chief father (... and therefore, spider-man being accepted by the law enforcement of the city at large)-- or mj, the unpredictable girl who juggles a half dozen jobs to chase a creative passion, and comes from a middle-class background just like his.

-> a relationship with gwen, through her social position, represents entrance into upper-middle-class prosperity, stable white-collar employment, and acceptance into the class that the status quo (the legal system and the cops) will protect. who are the people who tend to occupy this position in society. who do the cops protect. white people.

her role in the spider-man canon as the tragic helpless victimized love interest who's deified after her death... but whose death is never meaningfully prevented from happening again. (how many murdered girls are turned into symbols after their death, as the actual causes of their murders remain unaddressed? what do those girls tend to look like?)

this status relies on her whiteness. if gwen stacy were not a pretty blonde white girl, her murder would've been forgotten quickly because it wouldn't have been considered shocking or tragic, or worthy of obsessing over for decades.

and she wouldn't have been peter's love interest-- or even in the story at all-- if she were not white, because she was created in 1965.

spider-gwen, whose existence is a response to and condemnation of gwen stacy's fridging and reduction to the status of dead girlfriend on a pedestal, would never have been created in the first place if gwen weren't white.

if gwen hadn't been white, miles would never have been shipped with her in the first place because 1) spider-gwen wouldn't have existed. and 2) even if she did somehow, brian michael bendis loves swirl ships. he'd have passed right over her if she weren't white.

and gwen's importance in the spider-man canon [which she only has because she's white] is the entire reason comics miles is interested in her. he's literally told by the universe that the world where he gets the greatest institutional power and acceptance is the world where he has a blonde, blue-eyed white wife with a famous name and some not-so-coincidentally blonde, blue-eyed ambiguous-looking kids.

spiderverse miles is first attracted to her because he feels alone after leaving his community for the first time, and she makes him feel like he belongs at the visions, where he [and the audience] assume she's top of the social hierarchy; the same thing happens again at the spider-society, and both are part of atsv's greater metaphor about how those places are representative of a white-centric society. if gwen were not a white girl, the metaphor would instantly change.

miles likes gwen for multiple reasons (mostly that she's pretty and has powers, and spiderverse miles at least admires her intelligence and competence and enjoys her company), but given that he barely spent any time with her, the biggest one that nobody talks about is that she's a white girl, and he thinks he can speedrun his way to the status and acceptance he wants through a relationship with her. that's remained consistent between the comics and animated movies. the connection is literally skin-deep.

and out of universe... look, there's a reason that gwen and miles keep getting shipbait covers even when they had one regrettable makeout session eight years ago, have never actually dated, are interested in other people, and miles in particular largely dates nonwhite girls. there's a reason that the idea of gwiles has gotten more marketing than the reality of the relationship with a black girl that miles has been in for years. there's a reason editorial won't stop pushing gwen as a love interest, and won't even bother to try with tiana, and that's because they've already decided that the black girl isn't a commercial enough love interest for a mass audience, the white girl is... and that dating her will make miles more marketable too (... because aside from giving people a self-insert, if he has a white girlfriend, his stories will still center white people, and he'll have to prioritize their feelings). no surprise whatsoever that the first time miles made it to the movies, the white writers gave him a white love interest.

gwen's whiteness is the thing that gwiles stans like the most about her. putting aside how most of them have no clue who gwen is on her own and don't even know what her personality's like because her appearance is the most important thing to them, just watch how they talk about miles's other girlfriends and try to count the racist and sexist microaggressions.

and look at the way gwiles stans either completely ignore miles's blackness and how it informs his character or their relationship... or insist that white-ass gwen stacy would somehow speak perfect puerto rican spanish, be able to do miles's hair, and seamlessly fit into his community with no misunderstandings or friction. even spiderverse fans ignore their movie's own canon actually addressing those issues.

either they want the aesthetic image of an interracial relationship without any engagement with the actual challenges of being in an interracial relationship, or they want miles to date a blonde blue-eyed white girl who behaves like an afrolatina girl. okay. i see.

… even look at the way gwemj shippers blatantly ignore that em jay is already in a relationship with glory grant, or that gwen had a crush on her too. not a coincidence that the white f/f ship is getting favored over the interracial ones.

her overall plotline

is that of a privileged white woman who has faith in the system, slowly being failed by it until it kills her.

she's a star student studying to be a scientist, but she's consistently only valued by all her friends for her looks. the reason her boyfriend noticed her in the first place is because she's pretty, and she's valued more for her appearance and politeness than her scientific aptitude or her status as peter's intellectual equal; the only time we ever see her on page is when she's socializing, instead of in the lab. her father cares more about who she's dating than how her grades are. even her professor turns out to be only giving gwen special attention because he wants to fuck her, and he's so obsessed with her that he keeps cloning her after her death for that reason.

she trusts the cops to protect her, but they consistently don't.

she reaches out to a politician who's her dad's old police force friend for protection, but realizes he's only using her.

she trusts her boyfriend to be honest with her, but he never has been since the day they met. she believes she's in control of her relationship with him, but she never was.

her father, both the chief of police and the literal patriarch of her family, dies and leaves her completely alone.

she's ultimately murdered by her friend's dad*, and is put in a position to be murdered because her boyfriend won't be honest with her about the danger he's putting her in yet won't let her go when she makes it clear that she wants out of that situation bad enough to flee the country.

her murder itself strips her of all agency: she's so drugged she has no idea she's even being killed, and all retcons about how awake she was are more about her ~realizing her boyfriend was a hero~ than realizing she's about to die or that she's been lied to by said boyfriend.

*and depending on if you retcon a certain hated plotline or not, gwen's murderer, a wealthy and powerful middle-aged man who is her close friend's dad, may have coerced her, a teenager, into sex (which may have been her first time) and impregnated her. and her murder may in part be a coverup for that crime. look sins past was retconned because its the Fucking Worst, but this is how canon treats her and there are still fans and writers who hold a plotline that is so clearly a sexual assault against her.

(and then her murderer... never really gets punished for it. norman isn't killed, doesn't go to jail, even gets a redemption arc or two. and peter's off making out with her best friend a few issues later, never tries particularly hard to bring gwen back when dozens of other people are resurrected all the time, and whenever she's cloned, it's agreed that those clones don't count and aren't worth preserving. there is no justice for gwen's murder and everyone agrees that we don't need to bring her back anyway but we sure as hell will obsess over how tragic her death is. they like her better dead because if she's alive, they don't have full control over her anymore.)

she's failed by everyone and everything she trusts and cares about. specifically all the white men. her male friends, her boyfriend, her teacher, her father, his coworkers at the police station, her friend's father.

(... and the only people who have not failed her, and have even stuck up for or supported her are mj, sally green, aunt may, hobie brown, and darius leclerc. women and people of color.)

and maybe most importantly: she never gets an opportunity to process any of this or make a choice about it. because she's dead. and every time she's resurrected, it's only to fluff the ego of the guy who got her killed before being quickly killed off again. it's been like this for fifty years and it just doesn't stop.

-> gwen 6160, a version of gwen who gets to grow up to full adulthood and does so without spider-man triggering the collapse of the system around her-- and therefore, gwen still believes in it-- even goes so far as to become co-ceo of oscorp, and marry harry osborn-- a white billionaire who literally has the leader of their totalitarian oligarchal society on call. she has her doubts about the way things are and wants the system to change, but believes she specifically is superior enough to solve things with no consultation or oversight. this character's being primed to either have that arrogance lead to her death or a descent into supervillainy.

-> even spider-gwen has to unlearn her specifically white feminist politics. she needs to have the concept of gentrification being bad explained to her. she initially behaves like a rogue cop and her killing of peter parker is framed as an act of police brutality. the entire point of her initial comics run is gwen realizing that the police, the legal system, the media and society are corrupt and that she has to change her mindset if she's going to be a worthy protector of her city. she has to unlearn girlboss feminism, does so by listening to people of color, and refuses to take advantage of her privilege even when not doing so could get her killed-- when she's incarcerated, she receives a reduced sentence in part because of the optics of a girl with a 'good background' being locked up and she's offered a fully commuted sentence in exchange for becoming a government agent. which she refuses. the origin story of spider-gwen is all about radicalization. i can't get over how smart her creator was for doing that.

-> and as spider-gwen has since regressed back into white feminism, to the point where she's been explicitly called a "girlboss" on-panel, she starts palling around with her dimension's cops again and has not-so-coincidentally begun favoring only her white friends-- first harry and em jay, then only em jay (who she starts to have romantic tension with... even though em jay is already in a relationship with a black girl). and now she's abandoning the world she spent years learning to be a better ally to entirely for an easier one where she has fewer responsibilities and is in closer proximity to the important men who treat her like a romantic object.

the missed potential of gwen stacy's plotline all boils down to lack of agency. she needs to live so she can realize how she's been failed, and decide what to do about it.

if she concludes that the system is bad for her and stands up against it, she stands a chance at breaking the cycle, surviving and becoming a hero, like ghost-spider.

if she doubles down on supporting it, it will corrupt her into a villain.... and probably kill her once she's not useful to it alive anymore.

to bring the subject of this ramble home: the payoff we're waiting for in gwen's narrative is about how a white woman responds to realizing the system she's been raised to trust and uphold is corrupt and broken. you have to reckon with your privilege, how you've been lied to, how the power you thought you had doesn't actually exist, how your special position near the top of the hierarchy has nothing to do with how special you are and everything to do with keeping you close so the people with actual power can use you to replicate the system through another generation, the authority figures in your life are actually useless or harmful and the people you've been taught to fear and push away are actually more like you than the more powerful people you want to identify with. and then you choose to help undo that system to liberate yourself and the other people it's hurting... or you keep believing the lie because you'd rather keep the few privileges it does allow you, become complicit in its continuation and it still eats you up when it's done using you.

spider-gwen already passed this test and become a hero (but may fail it if she ends up with miles). gwen-6160 has failed and become villainous. gwen-616 has never gotten to take it, so her fate's still up in the air.

anyway politically speaking, from right to left, the main gwens go: 6160/hickman ultimate (knowingly complicit in the shadiest shit), 616/original (wobbling on the fence until she loses her balance and gets impaled by it), 1610/bendis ultimate (edgelord who occasionally stumbles onto the right idea), 65b/spiderverse (she's a little confused but she's got the spirit. dump miles and you've got it.), 65a/spider-gwen (the actual radical, pre-spiderverse synergy).

[dwreader]

What movies would you recommend for good examples of period costumes?

Ok since I could talk for literally hours about this I’m going to stick to periods that are show adjacent or relevant otherwise I’ll be here all day.

18th century (Lestat’s time):

Barry Lyndon (1975) - takes place in the 1760s throughout Europe so a little before Lestat’s time but honestly fashion changed very slowly back then so it’s pretty much the vibe we’re gonna see in s3 I believe. I think this is essential to understanding the period’s masculinity as it features mostly men and is also not about romance. You also get to see class differences in men’s dress as the character starts off in a very different social position from where he ends up. I also think Sam in his Lestat get up from set leaks looks sooo much like Ryan O’Neal in this movie I think it will be a major inspiration.

Dangerous Liaisons (1988) - this is pretty much smack dab in the middle of Lestat’s human life (pre-revolutionary) and it’s one of the few romantic dramas that actually allows its leading men to look period accurate cause somehow Hollywood decided calves and stockings were too gay for their leading men who usually show up to dinner parties in riding gear which would NEVER happen. Anyways I also think the character of Valmont is probably another big Lestat influence.

I also think movies like Amadeus (1984) and The Favourite (2018) are helpful in establishing to viewers that men did look ridiculous back then with big ass wigs and face caked full of makeup and it was not considered gay or unmanly!!

Gilded Age / Edwardian and beyond (Louis’s time):

The Age of Innocence (1993) - takes place in the 1870s so again a bit before Louis but I think now it’s important to establish that fashion trends are moving a bit faster as you’ll see a few decades later the big ass bustle look is no longer on trend but this is just a beautiful film to look at if you want a good intro to film costuming.

The trio of Merchant-Ivory’s EM Forster adaptations: A Room with a View, Maurice and Howard’s End are nice examples of early 20th century wear and again you finally get to see more class differences in dress. Also great references for men’s wear.

Daughters of the Dust (1991) - this takes place in Georgia around 1902 so getting quite close to the start of the show and it has absolutely gorgeous design like it’s the women’s silhouette so spot on. Good reference for the costumes on black women in the show. Also I think this is one case where the flowy down do’s hair in a period film isn’t anachronistic cause of the specific story they’re telling otherwise I’m usually like why are you an adult woman walking around outside with your hair down.

Passing (2021) - takes place in 1920s New York and features really lovely b&w cinematography and costuming wise it’s a really beautiful representation of upper middle class black families of the time and also has very interesting contrasts with the white upper class. Amazing book too, I highly recommend both.

For periods beyond 1930 I actually recommend just watching films from that era cause they give a more accurate representation of what was fashionable then not filtered through today’s beauty standards. For example the thin penciled eyebrow is almost never seen in modern period films cause no actress wants to shave off their eyebrows 💀 and their hair is almost always too long cause they don’t wanna chop off their hair.

Here are some good fashion recs of 30s-40s:

Trouble in Paradise (1932), It Happened One Night (1934), The Awful Truth (1937), Imitation of Life (1934), Notorious (1946), Mildred Pierce (1945), Gilda (1946), Orphee (1949), and a bunch others you can ask me for recs based on more specific criteria and I’d be happy to provide!

Also a film that’s a bit past the show’s timeline is Paris Blues (1961) starring Sidney Poitier and Paul Newman that’s also about American expats in Paris and it’s very good, everyone watch it.

[cantsayidont]

(Edited to reflect the remainder of the season, but still more more haterating than hollerating, TBF.)

SUNNY (2024): Weird, exceptionally abrasive A24/Apple TV+ sci-fi black comedy about an entitled and resentful white American expat in Kyoto, Suzie Sakamoto (Rashida Jones), whose Japanese husband (Hidetoshi Nishijima) and young son have apparently died in a plane crash, leaving Suzie with one of his company's domestic robots (the titular Sunny, voiced by Joanna Sotomura), an irritatingly chipper, reflexively manipulative, passive-aggressive, possibly dangerous device whose cutesy CGI design suffers very serious uncanny valley problems throughout. In between clashes with her disapproving mother-in-law Noriko (Judy Ongg), Suzie stumbles into a mysterious conspiracy involving the Yakuza, accompanied by a blue-haired bartender named Mixxy (singer-songwriter annie the clumsy), who's the closest thing she has to a friend.

Adapted by Katie Robbins from a novel by Colin O'Sullivan, the show does a poor job of establishing its sci-fi conceits (homebots like Sunny are apparently fairly common, but we don't ever see any others for long enough to put Sunny's odd behavior in any perspective); Jones is unbearable in an incredibly unsympathetic lead role; and the convoluted plot (which ends on a very weak cliffhanger) can never make up its mind whether it wants to be taken seriously or not. Even after 10 episodes, it's still unclear what the show is trying to be, except that its determination to sideline its Japanese characters in favor of its grating American protagonist is very off-putting. CONTAINS LESBIANS? Mixxy is gay, although her obvious desire to get in Suzie's pants suggests that she has absolutely terrible taste in women. VERDICT: I was mildly intrigued by the odd seriocomic tone, but the muddled, frequently irritating story goes nowhere, and the focus on Suzie makes it an ordeal.

[sissa-arrows]

There's currently a French actor (Gérard Depardieu) who was accused by more than a dozen women of SA throughout the years, and was even filmed in a recent documentary talking sexually about an 11 year old child. Not to mention all his other misogynist comments previous years. And now other actors and politicians are standing by him because "he did good work" and "by attacking him you are attacking art". Right, because that's all it takes to be forgiven. Even Macron defended him, not suprisingly.

This reminds me in my country men only "care" about SA when foreigners do it (read: non-white foreigners, because when German expat men were found to be running child SA rings between themselves no one talked about it), and will do everything in their power to defend eachother when it's them who are the assailants. It's so vile, like not even a week ago there was an article about a woman who was SA in an Uber, and men on social media went WE NEED TO BAN THESE RAPIST FOREIGNERS BAN EMIGRATION PROTECT OUR WOMEN then when another article mentioned it was a local suddenly they go quiet and don't speak about it further. Hm.

I have nothing to add about Depardieu (I will make a post about him but France is crossing all the limits so I have so many posts to make about so many subjects).

But it reminded me something. Yesterday a man killed his ex wife and their four children. The police knew that he was a threat and that he was violent. The far right did NOT say anything. You know why? Because all the recent crime of men killing their wife/ex wife were done by white men the latest was even done by a cop… the SECOND the guy’s id leaked and they realized he was black they ALL jumped on it. Started saying Black and Brown men are a threat to women and all. When they thought he was white crickets… nothing.

There’s a “feminist” white supremacist association. White women claiming the only threat against women are black and brown men. One of the members got violently beat up… by a white man. Cricket and they keep saying white men are not a problem and all.

They don’t care about women or children they care about blaming Black and Brown men. Had a Black or Brown actor said something like Depardieu did they would be ripping him a new one (rightfully). Depardieu sexualized a 9-10 years old little girl, talking about “her pussy” and calling her a “slut” but Macron is supporting him and saying he admire him and the people who claim to protect women and children are signing letters of support for him.

And I mentioned the far right but it’s throughout all of the political spectrum. A candidate in a leftist party in France received soooooo much hate because he is North African. It was a mess. In the middle of all that hate the party posted a communique saying that they received complain about sexual harassment from the guy’s ex. So they decided to cut him off and to replace him with a white candidate. Now replacing him with a white candidate is fishy as fuck but cutting him off is not. I mean either he is guilty and we avoiding electing a piece of shit or he is innocent and not being elected is not the end of his life. So I think the choice was right (but he should have been replaced by an other person of color). The party was like “we support women so we can’t let that happen even if he hasn’t had a trial yet better to kick him out”. Like I said it’s fair. Fast forward a couple months later. One of the member of that party is accused of beating his wife. He ADMITS it’s true. He goes on trial say it was just a couple slaps. Get judged guilty. The party refused to kick him out. He is still a member of this party. When we said that he should be kicked out they said “justice will do the job not us” and then when he was judged guilty of slapping his ex wife they said “well Justice punished him we’re not going to do more” Guess what? He is white.

[whilereadingandwalking]

Heading South by Dany Laferrière, translated by Wayne Grady, is an absolutely wild satire (that is very misunderstood in too many online reviews!) In a narrative told in interconnected short stories, a group of young Black men in Haiti leverage the racist voyeurism and daydreams of white female tourists against them. Sleeping with the visiting tourists or settled expats, the young men string the white women along, turning power dynamics on their head and gaining money and personal pride in the bargain.

As I wrote for Book Riot, "The book jumps from perspective to perspective to show the twisted mindsets of the women who are visiting compared to the young men who know exactly what those women want and aren’t misled about the biased fetishization of their desires but take advantage of it and form a new economy of sorts that’s all their own." It’s a smart, wild book that’s in turns funny, ridiculous, and dark.

Content warnings for ableism, misogynoir, racism, n-slur.

Catch my full list of Haitian literature in translation over at Book Riot!

[icedsodapop]

I also acknowledge that the reason why I don't feel very sympathetic towards Ballerina Farm is because I know women like her. My co-worker is one, and I have literally spent hours and hours listening to her vent about her shitty boyfriend, counselling her whenever she's upset over some shitty thing he said or did to her. Hell, I was there when she just started dating him. I told her that he was walking red flag when she admitted that he falsified his covid19 vaccination records becos he wanted to travel overseas and that he was a Trump supporter. I told her to be careful becos interracial relationships with White people are going to be difficult if he isn't ready for conversations about race and racism, and becos shitty white expats travel to Asia to get Asian women as status symbols becos yellow fever is a thing. Hours and hours of my labour spent on making sure her feelings are validated and taken seriously, on reassuring her that she has options, only for her to keep going back to him and then spouting homophobic and transphobic rhetoric to me.

She's still dating him becos he "treats [her] like a princess", becos she believes that every women should settle down and start a family 🤡 These women know that their partners are horrible people but they stay becos the personal benefits are worth it to them, and these women also share the same conservative/regressive values that their partners do. And to quote a Black tiktokker, these (usually White) women isolate themselves by voting against their interests and refusing to stand in solidarity with other women. They are stuck in a prison of their own making.

[thehorrortree]

Submission Window: December 1st - 31st, 2023 Payment: $0.08 CAD per word Theme: short fiction and poetry focused on long-term relationships in any genre (though they prefer uplifting so probably better for Scifi/Fantasy.) Note: Looking for at least 50% Canadian authors We're looking for short fiction and poetry focused on long-term relationships: platonic, romantic, or familial. We don't want the blaze of new love or the obsession of a new friend. We want pieces that show that comfort that develops when people know each other for years. Give us deep space, dusty frontiers, or dreamy fantasy. We want stories and poetry with strong, confident relationships amid all the sci-fi/fantasy. While we are primarily looking for stories with happy endings (yeah, yeah), we also want endings that are earned. If things get a little teary or gory, that's ok. We are especially interested in stories featuring queer platonic relationships, ace/aro love stories, and polycules. Payment Payment is $0.08 CAD per word for short fiction (1,000-3,500 words) and $60 CAD flat per poem. We are purchasing first publication rights, to revert back to the author after one year. Canadian Writers Since Heartlines Spec is primarily a Canadian magazine, we're looking to feature writers identifying as being from Canada/Turtle Island. This includes expats, refugees and displaced people living in Canada, new immigrants, and people who refuse/resist Canadian Identity. Heartlines welcomes submissions from writers of all identities. If you are comfortable, we encourage writers to indicate their intersections in their cover letter. Disclosure is not a requirement to submit, and we recognize that not all people are safe to disclose their identities. We are committed to addressing barriers and systemic discrimination faced by equity-deserving groups, which includes (but is not limited to): Racialized people People with disabilities LGBTQIA+ people Indigenous people Women Neurodivergent people Our goal for each issue is to publish at least 50% Canadian content. Submission Deadlines and Publication Dates Winter:  Opening December 1-31, Early submission period for equity-deserving groups November 23-30 (Publishing February 28th, 2023) Spring/Summer: Opening May 1-31, Early submission period for equity-deserving groups April 23-30 (Publishing July 31st, 2023) Fall:  Opening September 1-30, Early submission period for equity-deserving groups August 24-31 (Publishing November 30th, 2023) Query We try to have a fairly-quick turnaround for rejections and let writers know when their work will be held for further consideration. Please query if you have not heard anything by the 14th of the following month. ☑️ What We Want Stories - 1,000 - 3,500 words Poetry - send up to 5 pieces per submission Stories featuring long-term relationships (romantic, platonic, or familial) Strong speculative elements that start on page 1 or 2 Intersectional writers and works Simultaneous submissions ⛔ What We Don't Want AI-generated content Erotica Rape/abuse storylines Extreme violence Reprints Translated works (at this time) How to Submit Publications | Moksha Moksha We will be accepting submissions through our Moksha portal. We don't have any set formatting guidelines, all we ask is: Black font on a white background Title and author name on the front page Please send files as doc, docx, or rtf Please do not include a synopsis of your work within a cover letter Multiple submissions At the moment we are allowing writers to submit twice during the submission period. If a work is rejected, a writer may resubmit another piece that they think might be a better fit. If multiple pieces from the same writer are held for consideration, only one work may be selected for publication. Via: Heartlines Spec.

[vostok3-ka]

15 Questions for 15 Friends

Thank you so much for tagging me @vivelarevolution13. So lovely of you!!!!!

Are you named after anyone? >>> Yeah! I'm named after one of the most loved and strong historical women in Arab and Muslim history, the wife of the Prophet peace be upon him, Aisha. She was known to be very lively and lovely, and was incredibly clever and loved to have fun. In my culture we believe that naming a baby gives them some of the characteristics of the person or thing they are named after, and I really hope that's true, because she was an awesome woman.

When was the last time you cried? >>> Last time I cried was when praying for Gaza. Half of my family are either Jordanian-Palestinian, or Palestinian and when I see pictures of little children being hungry and frightened I can very easily image my siblings or little cousins in their place. It is only a border-line that separates us, and I could easily have been from Gaza. So yeah, I was quite upset.

Do you have kids? >>> No, but would love to someday, really would.

What sports do you play/have you played? >>> The first sport I ever did was Taekwondo as a little kid, I loved it but stopped when I got the blue belt due to life circumstances, before starting riding lessons. That went on for a few months and I was so happy. I loved it so much, but the prices became higher so I had to stop and was very sad about it. Then I did Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for a few years, and stopped when I got my grey and black belt. Then I did swimming, and stopped after around a year and a half, then I started archery about nearly two years ago, which I am still doing, and I absolutely adore it. I compete amateurly, and it is super fun. I also do kickboxing, have been doing so for a year, and it's such a good sport and I enjoy it so much!

Do you use sarcasm? >>> I don't really. Got told off by my mother too many times for using it that I only do sometimes, and lightly now.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? >>> Their eyes. And their cheeks, if they dimple. I just find both really pretty!

What’s your eye color? >>> Amber/Golden-lightish brown? Not really sure but between light brown and amber.

Scary movies or happy endings? >>> Happy endings! I prefer tragic endings that leave me nearly gasping in emotion, but I do NOT like horror unless it's gothic/existential without any jump scares.

Any talents? >>> I am not sure honestly? Writing I suppose? I am a little uncomfortable with calling what I can do talent, I think I'm quite your average Joe or however the phrase goes ;) I do think I sometimes write some alright poetry though!

Where were you born? >>> In the Gulf of the Middle East. My family are expats so I wasn't born in the Levant!

What are your hobbies? >>> Archery, Kickboxing, Writing both poetry and prose, reading, and occasionally playing video games. My favourite book by far is Catch-22 and my favourite video games would have to be either S.T.A.L.K.E.R. or Metro 2033

Do you have any pets? >>> I used to have a dog when I was really little, then some fish, then some cats, then a hamster, and then a bunny, then a parrot and then a cat, and now I currently have none!

How tall are you? >>> 172cm

Favorite subject in school? >>> Literature, WWII History and Psychology

Dream job? >>> Humanitarian or Army medic. I would love to be able to help people in warzones, and I get bored really easily so a high stress job would be perfect for me. I would also really like to be a firefighter or a detective.

I had so much fun answering these, and would like to no-pressure tag @writethewolvesaway @bbyboybucket @sadeyedlady-writes and @catcoffeeenjoyer !!

[randomberlinchick]

Can confirm 😂

This is from the chapter "Forever After, For Now" by a black American woman trying to make sense of the dating scene in Istanbul. The book is Tales from the Expat Harem - Foreign Women in Modern Turkey. I bought it before I traveled to Istanbul in 2007 and need to dust it off now and review...

[musiqjukebox]

Tia Mills, International Teacher and Founder of Tia Takes the World

Tia Mills is an international PE teacher turned travel content creator and blogger. Tia has experience working with brands such as Skyroam, Emirates, Sofitel Hotels, The Boys and Girls Clubs of America, Travel Noire, and many other partners. Her dedicated work ethic makes partnerships easy and she has many companies that work with her repeatedly. As a lover of education, Tia is driven to give…

[knowyourbmovieactors]

OCTOBER HORROR MOVIES (DVD EDITION) #4

SHUTTER

OCTOBER HORROR MOVIES (DVD EDITION) #4 SHUTTER

After the success of "The Ring" and "The Grudge", movie producers were desperate to secure the rights to that next great Japanese vengeful ghost story that they could thoroughly water down with an American remake. One set of producers snapped up the 2004 film "Shutter", which had been a number one box office smash in its home country… of Thailand. OK, so it's not a Japanese original, but we're pretty confident an American audience won't notice the subtle cultural differences as long as it's set in America and features nothing but pretty blonde people. But, you know what? Let's get Masayuki Ochiai on board to direct. With a Japanese director known in his own country for doing spooky supernatural stuff, that should at least give it that good ol' "Ringu" flavor, right? What's that? He wants to cast Megumi Okina from "Ju-On" (the original Japanese version of "The Grudge"). OK, I guess that's doable. The rest of the cast can still be a bunch of pretty Americans doing all their vengeful ghost stuff in America… What's that? He's not comfortable shooting in America, because he doesn't speak English very well? Um…

And that, friends, is how we get the 2008 version of "Shutter": an American adaptation of a Thai film shot in Japan. (And what the hell, let's cast a Tasmanian actor in one of the leads while we're at it.) The world is now truly flat.

The resulting film is OK, if a little too long. It's a pretty standard vengeful ghost story, in the tradition of "The Ring" and "The Grudge". In this case, the twist is that the aforementioned vengeful ghost lets its presence be known through the medium of spirit photography, i.e. blurry white marks on photos that could have just as easily been caused by any number of picture-taking mistakes, but which people immediately attribute to ghosts. In our story, the newlywed American couple relocates to Japan. Husband is a professional photographer who got a high profile job through a couple of old buddies who work over there. Wife is wife. We get one line where she mentions she's certified to teach 6th grade English, but other than that we get no hint that she has any kind of job or identity outside of her husband. He has previously worked in Japan and speaks the language. She has not and does not.

It's actually a pretty good metaphor for a woman trapped in an abusive relationship. She's been cut off from her friends and family. The only information she can get from her surroundings has to be filtered through her husband. His old buddies in Japan are douchey frat-bro expats from America, and you get the hint that he used to behave just like them. Between the way the camera frames his interactions with every pretty woman in his vicinity and the fact that all his photo shoots seem to revolve around Western fetishized depictions of Japanese women, it paints the picture of a guy who's got more than a few little Asian fantasies dancing around in his head that she wasn't aware of. She has no job, no friends, and no way to way to support herself aside from this guy who is hanging out more and more red flags every day.

And of course, there's the ghost that's stalking them through photographs. As the supernatural stuff becomes increasingly difficult to ignore or explain away, Mr. Photographer Husband is forced to dribble out more and more information about his past, none of which looks very good for him. The ghost wriggles her way through the scene, pale faced, with long, lanky black hair, in scenes very reminiscent of "Ringu" and "Ju-On". The dirtbag bros get their comeuppance, the wife is freed, and the ghost--while not exactly put to rest--gets what she wants. It's alright. By the time "Shutter" was released in 2008, the novelty of this particular sub-genre had worn off in America, and the movie doesn't really up the ante in any way. Still, a decently solid film.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM THE DVD EXTRAS This DVD that I bought (the "UNRATED DIRECTOR'S CUT EDITION") has almost as much in special features as it does in actual movie. There was no way I was going to watch all of them, but here are some highlights: -In the "Inside the Lens" featurette, a lot of non-Japanese people talk very confidently about how Japanese ghosts are different from Western ghosts. (There is one short clip of a Japanese "expert" in spirit photography who seems, frankly, quite bored) Very few of them mention the fact that this is actually adapted from a Thai movie. -There is a short feature about the history of spirit photography, which is absolutely riddled with factual errors; not least of which being their failure to mention that the first guy to "discover" spirit photography was very publicly outed as a fraudster. -Immediately after the short telling you how spirit photographs are totally real, there is another short that teaches you how to fake one with Photoshop. Both of these shorts are narrated by the same guy.

[armandsdivorcelawyer]

I realized most of my Expats Subgroups are like women

Here’s some Very Specific Men who Live in South Korea:

The “I’m Black, you’re Black…”

This expat is probably military, but definitely a Black man. Because he’s Black, you should want to be with him if you’re a Black woman.

Oh, you don’t? He’s knows how it is. You just want a Korean boy. Must think you’re too good to be seen intermingling with your Melanated Brethren. Or maybe it’s internalized anti blackness. It’s whatever, you ugly and them Korean niggas don’t want you anyway.

You’re a lesbian? You’re just not interested? You can tell he sucks? You don’t gotta lie. He’s gonna go find a Black queen that’s gonna appreciate a high value Black man such as himself. He’s definitely not gonna make her miserable. Definitely.

The WM with a KW

She’s beauty, he’s the beast. You don’t know what he’s like, it’s just that he looks like roadkill and she’s beautiful. White privilege sure does turn a 3 into a 10, huh?

Has crossover with the LBH if he ever gets white privilege to work for him.

(I have a particular bone to pick with these dudes, bc once I got pushed by a white man with a Korean girlfriend in a bar. Like hands on my body, pushing my back so I’d move so they could move past.

With the power of Sapphic Misandry, Black female rage, and a bottle of soju, I cursed this man out and made them go around. He was American. I’m American. Just yell excuse me like a normal person. Just cause you’re white and you wanna show out for your little girl friend don’t mean you put your hands on me. What the fuck is wrong with you—)

The Male English Teacher

Rarity: Uncommon. Most expat English teachers are women, but there are men out there.

What do you want me to say? He’s a man. Think of a man, plop him in South Korea, and employ him at a hagwon or public school. That’s all I got 🤷🏽‍♀️.

Also has crossover with the LBH, but again it this expat is just a man. He does man things. Just a dude.

[dj-dondondonki]

girly rave in chengdu

went to a rave last weekend in chengdu.

it was fun!

i think it really hit home for me there how closed off from the outside (Western) world China has really become. in Taipei, techno events are usually at least half white Western expats (mostly European guys and rly young exchange students). this chengdu rave was like...almost all Chinese (mostly Szechuanese judging from dialect). except one German girl (why is there always a German?? any rave anywhere in the world???).

it was refreshing, actually, to be at a techno event where the vibe was not mid European guys holding drinks and their overdressed Taiwanese gfs vaping. it reminded me of my first rave, in nyc - a queer rave with a lot of open gay-ness, lesbians, trans people clearly there for the celebration of queerness as much as for the music. at this chengdu event there were a ton of lesbians. a lot of women in general actually -- more women than men, and both the DJs playing that night were women.

(reminded me of something my cousin said: apparently Szechuan is the province in China where women have the highest societal status and comparative equality to men, a factor that influenced Luis Vuitton's decision to open their China flagship in Chengdu??)

the vibe was very house party-esque -- felt like a close-knit community who knew each other well. a lot of ppl were there just to hang out rather than to dance/get wasted. little clusters of friend groups posted up outside the venue all night, gossiping n smoking n hugging n talking each other through gay heartbreak </3 .

i danced a lot and then wanted to chat w people but nobody really approached me :( i even did the thing where i bummed cigarettes as a way to enter a conversation but it did not work, people just gave me a cigarette silently lol. that's something i'm still not used to - the general standoffishness of Asian people at nightclubs. not that i find Americans at raves especially friendly, but i do think American raves (esp very gay ones) have more of a loose, chummy intimate feel -- you can randomly start dancing w strangers, vibing, hugging, whatever -- whereas Asians definitely respect each others' personal space on the dancefloor. it's something i miss a lot about nyc tbh.

the space was super small - two rooms, the smaller room was like the size of my living room in taipei. they had a brazilian DJ playing there and a cute cooler w juice boxes and chrysanthemum tea, etc. the bigger room had a local Chengdu DJ, an older lady, chainsmoking n getting rly drunk and the crowd was going HARD for her. like screaming for their favorite tracks and they were rly rly dancing. apparently they dance till sunrise at these things. there's no official end time it's just when ppl get too tired, usually 6 or 7am.

the one thing i disliked was how much ppl were smoking. they smoke A LOT here, like ppl were chainsmoking like crazy while dancing inside this tiny closed room, it was SOUPY w secondhand smoke. i was coughing the day after and i feel like it's still in my lungs now :'((( why do chinese ppl have to smoke so much???

i've been thinking about raving in general lately n my relationship to it -- there was a time like two years ago when i first started clubbing, when i really thought dancing n clubbing could be like...my meaning in life LOL. my salvation. i was inspired by david mancuso in the 70s, the infamous utopian loft parties, the subversive gay/black subculture that gave rise to techno, and i was hosting these cute!! DIY!! basement parties w my friends thinking that possibly RAVE COULD SAVE THE WORLD. or at least save...people like me? lesbian misfits seeking art n community??

these days i feel like so much older. like idk. maybe dancing n loud techno n drugs is just...dancing n techno n drugs?? you go out enough and everything starts to feel the same, the crowd around you gets younger and younger, you recognize the same characters on the dancefloor no matter where in the world it is.

i think i'm getting to a stage where i either need more out of clubbing (like, i'm craving a clubbing/dancing experience that's more overtly community-based and warm and intentionally uplifting) or maybe, clubbing is no longer satisfying my need for... whatever, a creative/energetic outlet, a sense of vibing and celebration with others.

(also: see this masterpiece of music journalism that describes the clubbing scene in chengdu)